Does this fine blade meet your needs, Sir Elf?

Bonus: Portland reference!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/261244069951?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

Now half-price: Non-functioning Happy Helmet.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Norman-Helmet-Heavy-16-gauge-Early-Spangenhelm-Medieval-Helmet-Chinstrap-Liner-/200912914120?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2ec757c6c8

Big 'uns on display.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/6-3-samurai-sword-/251301707441?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3a82bfbeb1

That's a big ass sword, alright!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/63-samurai-sword-/251295655070?ViewItem=&ssPageName=ADME%3AX%3AAAQ%3AUS%3A1123&item=251295655070&nma=true&si=94f6UCUBPNSZx34h2mUvLkC7feE%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Embarrassing mustache?

Problem solved!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/251302399511?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

Collection up for sale! And my girlfriend is beautiful!

Yes she is, sir, yes she is.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/261242038826?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

http://www.ebay.com/itm/261241739649?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fantasy-Knight-Dragon-Sword-Medieval-with-wall-plaque-/261242097426

http://www.ebay.com/itm/261241743244?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649